National Suicide Prevention Month: Why and How Does Someone Feel Suicidal?
Why does someone feel suicidal? Many people, luckily, don’t understand how having suicidal ideation feels and why it happens.
A person who is having suicidal thoughts or worse, actively planning an attempt, is suffering under tremendous pressure with inadequate resources to cope. It can happen to almost anyone.
Think of it like a balance.
Protective factors are on one side—risk factors are on the other.
When we are in crisis—
or completely overwhelmed, suicide can feel like the only option.
COPING SIDE
That which gets us through hard times:
-Most importantly, our attachments and relationships--both intimate and with our community(s)
-Our fundamental feelings of worth as humans;
-Mental and physical health
-Our abilities and habits to process stress (including sleep, diet, exercise, and our support systems.]
If this coping “side” is well-developed and strong (thank your family, community, and genetics!), you can weather almost anything. If it is lacking, then it takes less on the “other (stressor) side” to push us into crisis.
STRESSOR SIDE
On the stressor side is all the tough stuff:
-Familial and societal pressures – dysfunction, neglect, isolation, poverty, racism, war, to name a few.
-Past and present trauma or abuse.
-Genetic predisposition to mental or physical illness
-Personality factors, such as sensitivity, difficult temperament, and impulsiveness, can play into the equation as well.
Substance abuse magnifies anything on this heavy “side” significantly. Although substances are often used to try to alleviate them to begin with.
If we get out of balance during a normal developmentally-stressful time, such as puberty, when leaving home, marriage, birth of children, retirement, or during a pandemic, the “scales” are further tipped against us.
Then, a precipitating event, such as recent trauma, death of a loved one, a break-up, lost job, health set back, and sometimes even seemingly positive changes such as a move, or a new job happens, and WHAM. We’re fully overwhelmed and in crisis.
We can support the mental and physical strain of being overwhelmed--in crisis--only so long (not very).
If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call 988. Or text 741-741
When a person feels isolated and alone with their pain, or it’s simply too much to bear even WITH support, a person starts to consider the only thing that can put an end to their suffering. Death at their own hand.
No one really wants to die. They want the pain to lessen.
Fortunately, there are more and more resources available in most communities to help those in crisis.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call a crisis line.
In the U.S. and Canada, it's 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
The Trevor Project is for LGBTQ. Text, call or chat from the website.
In the U.K., contact the Samaritans at +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate). And from 5pm - midnight, GMT call the CALM Helpline at 0800-58 58 58
It's 13 11 14 within Australia.
If you know someone who might be feeling desperate or suicidal, talking about suicide with them DOES NOT put the idea in a person’s head.
It’s already there.
Talking about feeling suicidal with someone who cares (and listens nonjudgmentally) can begin to relieve the unendurable pressure and may make a lifesaving difference.
SUICIDE IS PREVENTABLE.
Please talk about it.
And have a balanced, happy week.
Who am I? An author of novels for young adults, a former suicide crisis line counselor, a mental health advocate, and a mom and grandma. Here’s my latest:
18-year-old suicide prevention worker Delilah’s ideas about life and death are challenged by her beloved, terminally ill aunt.